Even though back then I had no idea what it was called. I lovingly referred to it as, “Victoria’s Secret Style photography”. I loved how powerful the women seemed to feel. The look of confidence in the model’s eyes. How the photographer celebrated their god given curves and the way the light kissed their skin. And the the idea of the vulnerability?! Oh my goodness that made my heart race. The thought that I could help a woman celebrate themselves in this way felt natural to me.
When I was 25 I knew I wanted to do a boudoir session for myself.
I knew years down the line I’d want to see myself captured in all my unapologetic authenticity. Something just for me. Something I could always have to celebrate myself. I decided I was going to do it when I turned 30. So for five years I saved my money and kept my eyes open for a photographer I loved to invest into my experience.
Those five years coasted by and before I knew it my 30th birthday was here and I decided I was ready. Nervous. But ready nonetheless.
Now I hadn’t yet reached the side of me that was so called unapologetic. I was actually unknowingly in the midst of a mild depression. I didn’t understand then that even though I was a mess on the inside that this was the perfect time to pour into myself with a boudoir session. I had been following a photographer for a year or two on Instagram who’s work seemed to speak directly to me so I emailed him and booked my session. I had about 6 months to breath and slowly prep myself on the inside.
I wanted to know what it’d be like to be in your shoes. What kind of inner dialogue I’d have with myself prior and the day of. How it felt to shop for the session, fly to a different city, and then bare myself to someone I’d never met in person.
About a week before I felt a little uncertain about how I looked physically. I knew that this was normal but I also wanted to be totally present for the experience and not so in my own head so……The day of my session I surrendered. My body was what it was. I was gonna rock each stretch mark proudly. I decided then that I loved me just as I was. I didn’t need to change a thing. And you know what? My anxiety melted away. All of it.
Booking a boudoir session is such a wonderful and emotional investment.
You start to filter through all of the old stories about who you are as a woman. That joureny through old insecurities and new uncertainty and feel so frightening. Over the last few years I’ve realized my clients felt the same things on their journey as I did.
You think you aren’t sure/ready to book your boudoir session. Here’s 5 ways to know if you are. If you’ve read this far trust me you are 🙂 ……..
- Something draws you into boudoir photography.
The fact that this thought has circled and hasn’t found an exit in your mind is huge. Even if you aren’t fully aware of why you’re interested. Explore those thoughts. Don’t make yourself feel weird about it. You don’t need permission to explore the thoughts that are already there.
- You admire other women who’ve done it.
You’ve seen images from another woman’s boudoir session and you wish it were you. You scan the images wondering how freeing it must have felt. You look at her and you see no imperfections. Just her beauty radiating from each photograph. You want that for yourself.
- You’ve inquired about a boudoir session.
You already know what photographer takes your breath away. You’ve email or even talk to them about a session. You get excited just talking about it. The money is an after thought at this point. In fact you may have been saving for years.
- You’ve fantasized about your session.
In your mind you’re fearless. You’re wearing that little black number you bookmarked a year ago on your phone. Your makeup look flawless. And your ass? Listen, it couldn’t look any better. You’ve even imagined holding onto the album feel so proud and unapologetic.
- You’ve told yourself you could never do it.
This is doubt trying to make you feel guilty for indulging in something you actually want. Plot twist it’s a trick! You already have everything inside you to not only pull something like this off but to surprise yourself in the process. You can do anything you set your mind to so why not this? After all there’s nothing more freeing than embracing your true self and accepting your so-called flaws (btw they’re beautiful.)
So now’s the time. This doesn’t have to be done when you’ve reached some kind of imaginary peek or weight. I think you’re ready. The question is will you surrender. You’re already the woman of your dreams. This is me giving you permission to celebrate your beauty unapologetically.